Deadpool, the First

So, hi. My name is Deadpool. My nom de party, anyway. People often say to me, "Hey Deadpool, you're just a rip off of Deathstroke."

I usually say to them, "Hey people, get the hell out of my bathroom while I'm trying to go!"

And then they usually say back, "Nyah, nyah . . Deadpool is a Deathstroke rip off, Deadpool is a Deathstroke rip off . ." And they say it in like this really annoying sing-songy voice.

Then I'll say to them, "Hey people, who the hell is Deathstroke?" I say hell a lot because I'm edgy. Thanks goodness they junked that Comics Code Authority. Am I right?

The people will then say, "Deathstroke is a masked mercenary from DC who carries 2 swords on his back. He came out in 1980 and you didn't come out until 1991. You are a total rip off of him!"

And I'll say, "Pfft. Was he a co-star in one of the biggest movies last year? Is he getting his own big budget solo flick next year? Does he have his own monthly comic book? Didn't think so."

And they'll say, "Co-star? At best you had a cameo in Wolverine."

It's at that point that I'll usually grab the Uzi I keep hidden behind my toilet and open fire on anyone that hasn't jumped out the window. That's just how I roll.